In the Key of FU
by thebluefrenchhorn
Summary: In which Oikawa is a world-class violinist whose shenanigans and ongoing cold war with Mozart-want-to-be, Kageyama Tobio, shape the lives of the Shiratorizawa musicians. (Orchestra!AU)
1. Chapter 1

In the Key of FU

 _A Drabble Series_

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Beta: GravityBug

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It was that time of year again.

"I wonder who will cry this time," Oikawa Tohru pondered, his posture lackadaisical as he lay practically sprawled out over one of the many plush, red chairs that adorned the concert hall. "Somebody always does."

This statement, like most of his statements, was ended with a punch to his arm, courtesy of his childhood friend Iwaizumi.

"That hurt Iwa-chan," came Oikawa's response, his voice whiny and his eyes filling with tears, although he suspected that Iwaizumi had already built up an immunity to both.

"Really, is it that hard for you to muster up even an ounce of compassion Shittykawa?"

Oikawa glanced from the nervous line of musicians to Iwaizumi, his eyes half-lidded. With each spring, came the flood of violin, viola, cello, and bass players vying for a spot in the Shiratorizawa orchestra, an elite, string exclusive ensemble. Most didn't make it and the ones that did, well…

"Once they experience one of the Machine's practices, I'll _maybe_ start feeling compassionate." Oikawa replied.

Commotion occurred in the tryout line then; a small ginger had pitched forward, emptying what Oikawa could only assume to be his lunch onto the shoes of the black-haired man in front of him.

Oikawa sighed happily. "Wakatoshi-sensei is going to eat them alive."

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 **Disclaimer:** All rights reserved to the original creator.

 **Author's Note:** As always, thank you for taking the time to check out one of my stories!


	2. Chapter 2

In the Key of FU

 _A Drabble Series_

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Beta: GravityBug

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"If you stare any harder, Oikawa, you're going to burn a hole through our music."

Oikawa scoffed, turning to pout at his stand partner, Kuroo, a slender woman with a mess of curls lazily pinned atop her head.

"I'm pretending that it's Mr.-Mozart-want-to-be's head," he hissed, his grip on his bow tightening as he effortlessly played through the warm-up scales assigned for the rehearsal. E major was child's play.

Kuroo rolled her eyes. "Mozart-want-to-be?" she inquired, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side as a sly grin overtook her features. "You don't happen to mean Kageyama Tobio? Personally, I prefer the 'Prodigal Son', but I suppose to each his own."

Oikawa's jaw tightened.

"Why, are you afraid that he'll replace you as Ushijima-sensei's favorite?" she murmured, her voice silky, as she appraised him like a predator would to one's prey. "I admit, the prodigy part will be difficult to beat, but at least you had a good run."

"Stop it!" he gritted through his teeth, jabbing his bow in her direction in a wild attempt at regaining control over the situation. In hindsight it might not have been the best idea as it nearly poked out one of her eyes. "I know what you're doing Neko-chan and I don't like it one bit." He punctuated his sentence by sticking out his tongue in a decisively childish manner.

Kuroo shrugged her shoulders unapologetically, the glint in her eyes rather unnerving as she blinked at the conductor's podium, before gazing upon him once more. Oh no, she wouldn't, would she? She would have at least warned him...Oikawa thought frantically, however his hopes were obliterated as the deep rumble of one clearing their throat cut through the air, bringing with it what Oikawa knew to be both the promise of proverbs and torture.

"Oikawa-kohai your current conduct in rehearsal is radiating unprofessionalism," came Ushijima's deep voice. "An excellent seedling needs suitably excellent soil. It can't yield first-rate fruit on a barren land."

A fake (not that Ushijima would notice; Tohru suspected that his brain cells were solely devoted to understanding gardening and music-nothing else) smile slid onto Oikawa's face. Seedling? Barren land? Oikawa controlled the urge to roll his eyes. If Ushijima ever wanted him to take him seriously, ditching the 'farmer-speak' was a must.

"If you had gone to Shiratorizawa's prep school, these habits of yours would have been uprooted long ago."

As he finished, Oikawa dug his nails into his palms, his smile becoming even faker, if that were possible, and his voice ridiculously bubbly and far too charismatic to be sincere.

"Of course sensei."

And if he were to quietly tac on "Ushiwaka-chan', who was to know? Kuroo certainly wouldn't spill and judging by the way her shoulders were silently shaking, she was enjoying this far too much.

Damn Kuroo.

Damn Ushijima-sensei.

And damn fucking Tobio-chan and his stupid prodigal abilities.

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 **Disclaimer:** All rights reserved to the original creator.

 **Author's Note:** As many of you have probably noticed, Kuroo is genderbent in this story, which is going to become a common occurrence. It's not that I'm attempting to avoid gay pairings, because I'm extremely supportive of the LGBTQIA community and pairings within that community will still be present in this story. My reasoning for having character's genderbent is more due to creating a realistic and believable alternate universe. In canon, it makes perfect sense for the cast to be predominantly male as it's focused around boy's volleyball, however, a realistic orchestra would be composed of both genders, meaning that some character's, such as Kuroo, will be genderbent.

 **GravityBug:** Awe, you're making me blush! Thank you for being a fantastic beta :)

 **Guest:** I'm glad that you liked it!

 **Sakuchii:** Thank you so much for the review! I felt so evil making Hinata throw up on Kageyama, but with those two, something was bound to happen eventually. Even though he wasn't featured in this chapter, Hinata is definitely in for a rough ride.


	3. Chapter 3

In the Key of FU

 _A Drabble Series_

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Beta: GravityBug

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"You know, from time to time, your sociopathic tendencies tend to worry me," Kuroo stated dryly, pausing to take a sip of her coffee. "Now, don't get me wrong, it's certainly not enough to sway me away from this delightful little thing we have; but, honestly, Tooru, it's getting a bit out of hand."

Elegantly, she crossed her legs, somehow appearing unnervingly professional despite the fact that she was half-dressed and sitting upon Oikawa's counter.

"And, don't tell me you haven't become obsessive," she added, clearly taking note of Oikawa's rather defensive expression. "You've been tracking him ever since he replaced Sugawara-san."

"As I should be," Oikawa said, not quite understanding how his reasoning was somehow incomprehensible for Kooru. "If he's already leader of the Seconds, he's sure to be moved into the Firsts soon and there's no way, no way at all, that I'm losing Concertmaster to some little Mozart-want-to-be!"

Kuroo rolled her eyes. "Just fuck him already. Clearly, you have some sort of unresolved sexual tension-"

Her voice was cut off by Oikawa's shriek of disgust. He stared at her, blatantly disturbed and undergoing some variant of an existential crisis. Why Kuroo would even suggest that, was beyond him. Especially, when he was already sexual involved with her.

As if reading his thoughts, Kuroo spoke up. "It's not like we're together, Tooru. We went over this when you asked why I only used your first name during these occasions." She sighed. "I'm not the female stereotype, okay? I fuck who I want to fuck, no strings attached, and I could care less about who you share your bed with. All I've ever asked of you, is to get tested for STD's monthly. I'm about as low-maintenance as someone can get. You know that."

"Yeah, I do," Tooru said, mirroring her sigh. "Just, really, with Mozart-want-to-be? I'd rather fuck Ushiwaka-chan." He punctuated his statement with a shiver, disgusted by either option.

Kuroo let out a bark of laughter. "With, Ushijima-senpai? He'd probably make some shitty farming innuendo." She deepened her voice, attempting to imitate their conductor. "Oikawa, like a beanstalk sprouts from the ground, I shall grow within you and release my seed to ensure future harvests."

Mortified, but also slightly amused, Oikawa laughed. "Please, never do that again, Kuroo."

Mischievously, Kuroo tilted her head to the side, shooting her stand partner a sultry look as she leaned towards him. "Ah, but don't you like it when I talk garden to you?"

"Neko-chan, stop," Tooru whined, drawing out the last word as he collapsed onto the dark-haired flirt, laughing into her shoulder.

He glanced up at her, chocolate meeting hazel as he softly brushed his lips against hers, tasting Kuroo's far too bitter coffee. Why she preferred black coffee to the delightful frappes Oikawa always ordered, would forever confuse him.

Kuroo kissed him back; both of them far more reserved than the night before.

"One day you're going to find somebody who just gets you, Tooru," she pecked him on the nose. "That's not to say I don't understand you, for as elaborate as you are, you're still rather simple; however, I certainly don't want to be stuck with you for the rest of my life."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Oikawa retorted, throwing off her jab. "We all know you get wet over the idea of marrying some boring English major, so you can talk about literature in the place of foreplay."

Kuroo shrugged. "It's not as if I'm going to deny it."

Tooru just shook his head. "I love you, Neko-chan," he said warmly, wrapping his arms around her. He had always been a cuddler, especially around those that he cared about. And, he did love Kuroo, just in a more abstract manner than a particularly romantic sense. "And, I suppose I wouldn't mind ending up with a cute guy or girl; but, trust me, it will not be Mozart-want-to-be."

Kuroo just smirked.

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 **Disclaimer:** All rights reserved to the original creators

 **Author's Note:** Boyyyyyyy, has it been awhile; but, I told myself I'd be better about updating since it's my summer break, so here I am! I've got to warn you guys, my beta is on vacation so this is about as raw as my writing's ever been. But, they'll be back soon, so any discrepancies should be sorted out. Such as, the spelling of Tooru, Tohru, Toru, or He-Who's-Name-Shall-Be-Spelled-Right. Yeah, that'll be eventually corrected in the previous chapters, as I've just decided to go with "Tooru". Eventually. As always, thank you for checking out my story and feel free to post a review about a drabble within this universe you might want to see. I'm trying to keep everything linear, but I'd love to hear your suggestions :)

 **GravityBug:** Thanks, man! You're an awesome beta! Have fun on your vacation.


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